My journey of surrendering by Jennifer

I want to go back a few years and share what God has done in my life along the way to prepare me for moving to Guatemala.

Our firstborn son, Luke was born with a moderate mental disability, I had a miscarriage, then our second son was born with a cleft lip and palate. After Levi was born my husband began taking classes at a Christian College and wanted to get into full-time ministry. He would often come home excited about going to New York City, Australia, maybe even Africa! He was ready for an adventure and ready to go wherever and whenever God wanted him to. Mind you, I was a bit stressed with taking care of two young boys at home, lots of therapies, surgeries, etc. I was very overwhelmed and stressed! While I don't think that the timing was right for us to begin full-time ministry, I used my children as an excuse to not be open to what God may be calling us to do. I told Ben he was crazy!

My husband took on a role as part-time pastor at our current church – Indy Metro about four years ago. Our church is in the heart of downtown. He felt strongly that we should live where we were ministering so we could connect with people/families better by living in community with them. I thought it was a good idea....but moving downtown....and raise five boys, ahhh!  Then we started an evening service on the east side of Indy and that was where my husbands ministry focus was. So, he wanted to move to the east side. He talked about it for a few years before he got really serious about it. I will never forget that night! He felt very strongly that the Lord was calling us to move and that we should both be willing and open to do it for the sake of the call. Remember, I have one child with special needs, who is in a very specialized program at an awesome school and one with cleft lip and palate that has to deal with teasing because of the way he looks and sounds. And my husband wants me to move the the east side and put my children in public schools! Aahhh! I literally went through a box of kleenex! I didn't think that God would want our children to be put in schools that they would struggle in, daily! I worried about their safety, etc. I felt like Ben was putting ministry ahead of his family. I agreed to think and pray about it, but let me tell you I WAS MAD! And I WAS MISERABLE. I knew that I should submit and allow my husband to lead our family, WITH a good attitude, but I felt it was impossible. I don't think I have ever been so mad at my husband or at God for anything. At first I just stewed and was very angry with Ben, but then I began praying and went to the Bible for answers.

I knew that God would want me to submit to Ben as the head of our family.

I knew that God had a plan for us and that that plan was to prosper us and not to harm us, as Jeremiah 29:11 says.

I knew that God would honor obedience as I honored Him and honored my husband.

I finally surrendered to what God would have for our family, and I felt so FREE. I can't explain how good it felt to be free of the weight I was carrying. My children belong to the Lord, not to me and I believe that He will take care of them and that I don't need to worry about their safety. We put our house up for sale and it remained that way for almost four years! I wasn't sure why after I obeyed what I thought God was calling me to do, that He didn't sell our house so we could move to the east side.

THEN I took my first trip to Guatemala. My husband really wanted to go, then he tried to talk me into going with him, but I thought that is would be way too hard to have people take turns watching the kids, juggle school schedules, etc. He wasn't guaranteed the time off, so he encouraged me to go. At first I thought he was nuts! I didn't want to go to another country and leave my family behind! Keep in mind that I have never been out of the U.S. and that I don't really like to travel. And if you haven't figured out yet - I HATE change! One of the projects on this particular trip was to help with a baking school. I love to cook and bake, so it was tempting. I finally decided to do it! I knew that I would probably enjoy the trip and the people, but I had no idea how God was going to work on my heart. It wasn't so much while I was in Guatemala, but more so after I got home. He burdened my heart for the precious people in Magdalena and I lost sleep thinking and dreaming about the people and how I could be a part of what God was doing there. By this time my husband thought I was crazy :) Not really, but he wasn't feeling the call just yet. He was very curious as to what God was doing in my stubborn heart! Remember he had to talk me into going and that I hate change :) He thought that is was a mission trip high that would eventually go away. Well, it didn't, and my desire to be there - move there just increased with time. I was willing to go if that was what God wanted for our family. Ben decided that he should take a trip there and figure out what God was up to. He visited in June and now, almost a year later, we are ready to move there!

People ask us if it is safe, aren't we worried about our childrens education, how can you leave the U.S. and move to a third world country, etc., etc. All I can say is that the Lord has done a work in my heart, a process that has taken about 9 years! Even just a few years ago I wouldn't have seriously considered doing such a thing, but when God calls you to do something, you have two choices – to resist and be miserable – I had done that and I don't ever want to do that again! Or to obey and leave the details to Him.

At first there were several things that we couldn't imagine how the details could be worked out, like medical care/medicines for Luke – but He is faithful and has worked what I call miracles! Luke has a seizure disorder and a growth hormone deficiency. He has been taking a growth hormone injection for the last ten years. It comes from Lilly, requires refrigeration, and is VERY expensive. When he first started on the medication we were told that he would have to be on it for the rest of his life. At our appointment last November the doctor said we could do a simple blood test to determine if Luke still needed it or not. He doesn't! His levels are all completely normal! Since he has been off of the growth hormone he has gained 9lbs. and grown an inch! We also took him off of an ADD medication and saw his personality come out like never before. When we leave in June, he should be down to taking only one seizure medication! Had we not been obedient to what God wanted for our lives, we may never have taken those steps and had our special Lukey like he is now!

A verse that God has continually brought to our minds is Joshua 1:9 - “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” I want to encourage you today to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and answer the call, God has a plan and a purpose for your life! Don't be miserable - say YES! Don't be afraid - BE COURAGEOUS!